“But either way, isn’t Love always the answer?”
That’s what my beloved partner said to me yesterday with fierce truth pouring from moist eyes, devotedly calling me back, in a moment when defense had gotten the better of me, to the common ground of our living intention.
Learning to lean in to the mirror of conscious relationship is an invaluable evolutionary tool, one that asks us to surrender being right for the opportunity to be TRUE, and the need to feel safe for the chance to BE LOVE.
What does it take to truly embody Love in our lives, with our choices, with our actions, with our words, with our gestures, with our continuous living breath of surrender?
What must be surrendered, in any given moment, if Love is what I most want to live and serve? So much, apparently!
I’ve been in a potent fire of self-inquiry around this recently, challenged by some undoubtedly tricky and tender personal circumstances impacting my intimate home and family life, disturbing my precious nest and ruffling my feathers in extremely uncomfortable ways.
How humbling it is to see what still has the power to trigger me, reducing me to a burst of reactivity or a puddle of collapse. How supremely useful it is to continuously meet my own growing edge of surrender to Love.
When life unfolds in such a way that we feel invaded or overwhelmed by circumstance, or forced to lay down our cherished preferences, then what about Love? What does Love want? How does Love act?
Devotion to Love, in my experience, is the ultimate humbling path of surrender; one that asks us to give everything, while relinquishing all of our expectations of what IT will give US.
I’m not interested in a Love that bypasses the honesty of healthy boundaries, but I AM interested in seeing how I use boundaries of self-protection to defend against Love.
I’m not interested in self-betrayal in the name of Love, but I AM interested in seeing how I betray Love, in avoidance of the messy, sticky, and heart-achey ways Love clearly likes to school us.
Love asks: What are you afraid you will lose, in fully aligning with Love?
Love asks: What are you left with, when you stubbornly refuse to let Love lead?
True Love is profoundly courageous, and often difficult to choose~ in the face of fear, in the face of humiliation, in the face of insanity, in the face of taking something personally, in the face of exhaustion, stress, and overwhelm.
But oh~ such a gift comes in the choosing.
It is the gift of handing over any righteous stance to what’s even more true. It is the generous gift of offering up personal preference to divine will. It is the sometimes painful gift of stretching open even wider to my own tender humanity.
It is the gift of truly belonging~ to myself, to Life, to Grace, to my own deepening maturity and integrity.
How does Love respond to the shame of having withheld love, the embarrassment of having grossly failed to choose love in the moments that mattered most?
Love generously forgives: myself, and you, and certainly them.
Love says: here is a fresh moment, in which Love can be chosen.
Love says, without hesitation or condition: I choose YOU.