So much emotion, so much love and grief, grateful contemplation, sadness, appreciation and mourning. There seems to be a palpable field of unified impact around Robin Williams’ passing; like a deep wave washing through the collective, invoked by the sudden departure of such an exquisite, supremely gifted, generous and cherished soul.
It’s interesting how both grief and love are places where human hearts are not separated by fame, status and fortune. Loss is loss and love is love. Finally, we are all connected, not only essentially, in spirit, but also inside the mysterious, fleeting trajectory of our own temporary human existence.
I’ve read so many FB reports from people saying they are “surprised” by how deeply his death (and probable suicide) is hitting them. People searching their own hearts, their own personal familiarity with depression and suicidal ideation, their own excruciating battles with addiction, to find some place of resonance, empathy, plea for the raising of consciousness around mental illness, or in some instances judgment around the immensely controversial choice of suicide.
It reminds me in some visceral way of the impact of John Lennon’s death, in 1980, when I was six. I remember my parents suddenly sobbing in each other’s arms, listening to the news, and the distinct interpretation of my innocent, 6 year old being: Someone, a great singer, a loved soul who stood only for Love, has been killed, prematurely taken from our world.
My sense is that this is really why so many people are reeling around this death in particular. That even in his “Star” status, Robin was one of those beings who somehow made his way so intimately in to our hearts, with his own transparent humanity, depth, and magical wisdom. That what Robin, and so many of his “characters” stood for: authenticity, the bringing of light, of truth, realness, insight, humor… was a deeply nourishing medicine prematurely taken from our world.
And then I sense a deeper, more complex emotion, in response to the darkness surrounding his death: that this man, who was so deeply “successful”, so profoundly creative and gifted in service, so widely and deeply appreciated, recognized and loved, (all things most of us aspire to) was also clearly suffering in an un-manageable way, a way that drove him to take his own life, to choose whatever unknown was on the other side, over this known life and all it entails.
It saddens us, yes, but it also scares us, I think. To feel that choice chosen by such a soul; a soul with so much beauty, so much wisdom, so much still to give and live and love. We can't help but think: if he needed to leave, if that was his truth, then what does that mean for me, and my darkness, my despair and challenges?
These are very intense times in our world. The last two years I have become aware of more people touching into terribly intense places of darkness, panic, meaninglessness, despair. I have held space countless times for incredibly awake, self-aware, healing souls suddenly weighted down by the challenges of this human earth walk, so deeply heartbroken and weary. I have heard of more suicides, more deaths in general, than ever before in my personal, privileged life. My own dear heart has moved through intensely dark moments in which I’ve had to reach out for true help from every place I possibly could.
Human beings, it seems, have always suffered in our world. And yet it does seem that there is an intensification at this time. So much is speeding up, consumed by the matrix world of machines, oil, consumerism, greed. The destiny of our earth mother is unknown. We who are consciously stewarding the next generations are looking at this beloved world that they are inheriting with fear, grief, and fervent prayers. We want to stand steady in our faith for the possibilities of regeneration, of thriving, of the raising of consciousness in all the essential ways. And our faith is challenged, ruthlessly tested, by life itself and the incessant need to keep going, keep showing up to make the money to keep everything afloat. Our faith is somehow disheartened by the reality of sleeping masses, and even by consciously chosen deaths like that of Robin Williams.
May his soul be blessed with true, deep peace now. All his beauty and gifts and generosity come back to him now, ten thousandfold. And may our souls be blessed too, here, in these temporary bodies, with these troubled minds and these real life challenges, these precious children to care for, these sacred lives to live and gifts to give with all the authentic love and real grace we can muster.
May we receive his death, just as we received the gifts of his life, as a ruthless invitation: to live fully while we can~ with bold brilliance and laughter(!), and to ask for help when we need to, to be transparent in our humanness, our darkness, as well as the immense generosity and luminosity of our hearts.
Love in all directions ~*~ J