It feels to me like we get to a certain place in our growth as human souls, where we’ve been truly ripened and honed, seasoned, matured, wounded, humbled and deepened by life.
We’ve come to see that life is not what we thought it would be. Our younger projections onto life have been disillusioned. Relationship is not what we thought it would be. Adulthood is not what we thought and if we've become parents, parenthood is not either. Success and failure are not.
And really, it all feels a bit wild, this world. A bit reckless in the way it’s all unfolding with technology, with big-bad-wolf corporations and our dangerous addiction to oil, with Fukushima and Monsanto and all the worrisome rest. And we find ourselves sighing, or maybe shrugging, sadly; many of us praying, quite a lot.
Love asks more from us than we could have ever imagined, humbles us daily, stretches our edges and breaks our hearts open. We are tender and raw in our aliveness, in our love, in our wants, our unmet needs, our willingness.
And some of us get to a place where we are truly tired. We are wearied by the immense tasks at hand~ for us personally, and for humanity. We are tested every day in the simple walking of our talk and living of our truth. We are no longer buoyed by a childish hope of life being about our personal wishes being granted by some Fairy-Godmother God.
And yet still we care so deeply. Our care is real and deep, profound and true.
There is genuine care for this mother earth planet, for these younger generations we are blessed to steward, for this world in all its adolescent short-sighted madness; care for the bees, care for the soil, care for the trees, care for the waters, care for the food, care for the air, care for the warring humans, dutifully carrying the torches of wars past; care for our earth's ancestors, and all those yet to be born; care for our own dear lives, our sweetly beating hearts.
There is a humble prayer for the possibility that our precious lives might be of some true use, might be of some real service, might come to embody true peace and freedom. And yet, how? And with so many daily tasks and this mundane grind to keep up with; the constancy of dishes and laundry and bills to pay and chores to complete; some of us with children to tend to with as much grace and presence as we can muster?
To be so tiny in this world, and imperfect and still growing and so human, and to care so much, to have so much to share~ can feel in moments, like a helpless conundrum. Yes?
And here is the place where at times we feel like we might just need to buckle under the weight of it all, and give up. Just give up. Not (for most of us) in some dramatic or tragic way. But just to give up some true piece of our soul. Let the light fade just a tad from our eyes, let our dreams dissolve, our faith wither, our shoulders fall, our mouths frown, our hearts cave in.
And in truth there can be great spiritual benefit and beauty found in giving up certain things, certain habits, certain addictive ways of searching for anything other than this moment. Right? Yes, of course. There is an important and noble place for giving up.
But truly giving up? On ourselves? On our inherently aging, fallible bodies? On our tender hearts? On our fellow humans? On life itself? On the Great Mystery? No~ when we do this, when we collapse under the weight of seeming burden, we only contribute to the suffering in our world. We add our weight to the burden of The Mother, the very opposite of what we want.
What is most beautiful, I’m finding, deeper and deeper, is the possibility of giving in! Of giving in to this moment, with all it includes. Giving in when we feel like giving up.
Giving in to the intensity of what's called for. Giving in to the depth of all we feel. Giving in to the passion of our own sweet hearts, even if it is our passionate grief or passionate fear. Giving in to fierce truthtelling! Giving in to the thrust of action which follows our genuine care; giving in to the generosity of forgiveness, the courage of honesty; giving in to our laughter, our joy, which blesses us in moments, so organically.
Giving in to life, as it is, with all its challenges. What a choice! What a simple gift.
I see it like this: down on my knees, my hands to the heavens, and then to my heart, proclaiming at the top of my lungs, and yet absolutely silent, smiling with tears, I say to life: “I give in. I give in. Take me. I'm yours. I give in."
It’s a surrender. Moment after moment. And Life knows exactly what to do with our surrender. Life knows exactly how to make true use of our earnest hearts.
I invite you to give in, with me, my friends! Especially in the moments when you feel like giving up. So simple, really. Just give in. Give in. Give in.