I was guiding her in a soothing breathing meditation we sometimes do, breathing light up and down her spine, to help her release her day while settling her mind, body and heart. After a few minutes of this, she turned onto her side, nestling in closer to me, nuzzling me with her sweet little nose. And then she murmured, sleepily: “I’m just so grateful, Mama. Everything I’ve been given. And everything I get to give.”
I kissed her face and said: “Mmmm, oh yes.” Then she took a few slow, loud, deliberate breaths, and said: “I mean~ even just how I am given each new fresh breath?! And given this strong body? And all this love I get to give? And I was given baby bunnies. And a puppy. And then I got to give one baby bunny back to God, who wasn’t meant to live. And the puppy I got to give to someone who needed a service dog, even more than we needed her, Mom. So much I’m given and get to give.”
I sighed deeply, hugging her close, knowing intimately the pain that accompanied those giving up of the animals in this last month~ one to death, and one to truth~ for her sweet, sensitive, tender heart. I whispered, simply: “Thank you.”
And then she said: “Do you ever just feel so much trust, Mama? Like~ everything: we can trust?” I nodded in the dark, a few tears rising from my heart to my eyes and throat, and said, truthfully: “I feel that way right now, Love. Listening to you speak your gratitude fills me with gratitude. Feeling your trust fills me with trust.” And then she sighed too, whispering, “That’s good…” and snuggled in closer, her breath deepening, as she crossed the rainbow bridge into sleep.
And I lay there a few moments extra~ inhaling, exhaling, reveling, opening, loving, cherishing, trusting.