More than once I have realized that personally, ritualized service keeps me sane; this grace of putting myself aside for the use of Spirit, the use of Grace, of Love. It is a secret of service: this humble truth that I actually need it, myself, in order to stay balanced. To get to witness directly how everything I have personally lived through, every bliss and every heartbreak, every single humbling stretch of my soul, is made good use of, as it is alchemized into medicine for whomever I am sitting with.
And just as my heart breaks in awe and sometimes horror for the depth of pain people are asked to face in these lifetimes, at the very same time I am moved, endlessly, by our human and spiritual capacity for resilience, breakthrough, renewal, awakening, release, healing, homecoming. It is so deeply heartening.
And what relief to know that it is not ME that people are coming for. People come because they are drawn to their own potential for surrendering their own lives to the love, beauty, power, gifts that they are. They are drawn to their own surrender. That is why they come.
I just keep handing it all over to grace; this true prayer to somehow be of use. That my lifetime can be well-used by Love. And knowing that it is none of my business what this looks like; none of my business how my life touches the whole, how “successful” this little "Jesua" lifetime becomes, how seen, or known, or celebrated, or loved. Thank God this is none of my business, because how very messy it is when we think it is! My only business is in returning again and again to this genuine prayer: “Please may my life be made good use of today. Please, help me to navigate these earthly challenges with grace. Please, let love have this life. And forgive me, please, for where I continuously fall short. Thank you.”
I was speaking about this prayer with a client, and she asked me: “But don’t you feel like once you say this prayer, then that it is enough? And it is done?” I told her: “I don’t know about you, but my human mind and tendencies are stubborn. No matter how gloriously or terribly I might feel at the end of any particular day, about my mothering, or my work in the world, or my circumstances, the next morning I must return to the very beginning, back to this simplest prayer to somehow be of true use; to somehow let my life be used for making medicine of the madness.”
We are here but for an instant, so we might as well surrender it all to that which it already belongs to.
In this surrender I find good company with all the great poets and artists and musicians of our world; I find the surrendered saints and masters, and in the hearts of the masters, I find the deepest bow to all beings.
In the heart of surrender I find you!
Solstice blessings, dearest ones… to you and all the lives you touch. ~*~ J