How Can I Serve You??

How Can I Serve You??

What is it that you are wanting? Are there any burning questions you have to which you would like to hear a response? If you could have support with anything that you are working with inside your innermost heart, what would it be? Jesua would love to know… please feel free to respond in the comments… or to send her a private message or email! Thank you….

Humbling Gifts of Rejection & Failure

Humbling Gifts of Rejection & Failure

Month: October 2019

In this video, Jesua shares about the gifts that come with the experiences of rejection and failure. By sharing her intimate journey of working to get her debut book published, she exposes the humbling process of receiving rejections and declines. Jesua reflects on the possibility of using the most challenging mirrors we receive from life to hone, strengthen, and clarify our deepest life prayer.

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Humbling Gifts of Rejection & Failure

Humbling Gifts of Rejection & Failure

In this video, Jesua shares about the gifts that come with the experiences of rejection and failure. By sharing her intimate journey of working to get her debut book published, she exposes the humbling process of receiving rejections and declines. Jesua reflects on...

Seeing Our Unconscious Commitment to Suffering

Seeing Our Unconscious Commitment to Suffering

In this video Jesua explores the powerful process by which we can discover how it is we are unconsciously attached, committed or even addicted to the very patterns of suffering we most wish to be free of. It’s a truly empowering gift to take full responsibility for...

Meeting Shame with Self-Love

Meeting Shame with Self-Love

In this video Jesua shares her own personal practice for meeting the mundane arising of shame, self-doubt and self-criticism. More Videos

A Simple Breathing Practice

A Simple Breathing Practice

In this video Jesua shares wisdom from Brené Brown regarding a super simple breathing technique used by Yogis and Navy Seals alike, to summon the choice to respond, rather than to react—in everyday moments of stress or trigger… More Videos

Love Beyond Appearance

Love Beyond Appearance

In this video, Jesua explores the vulnerability of letting ourselves be seen just as we are. She shines a light on the deeper reality of who we truly are beyond our fleeting appearances, and the every-day ways we can discover to cross the bridge from shame and...

Burning Cleanly

Burning Cleanly

In this video, Jesua examines what it means to "burn cleanly" in the fires of our given life challenges. She delves into the possibility of a certain quality of self-honesty that allows us to notice what it is we have to add, in any given situation, in order to...

Meeting the Discomfort of Uncertainty

Meeting the Discomfort of Uncertainty

In this video Jesua explores the possibility of meeting the discomfort of uncertainty, unknowability and heartache with a simple willingness to bear it…  Asking questions such as:  How can we allow our pain to inspire a prayer that truly serves what we are alive for?...

What’s Here Right Now?

What’s Here Right Now?

There are limitless ways to distract ourselves and avoid what’s actually present—everything from substance use, to staying busy, to social media addiction, to worrying, to buying things, to gossip, to texting, to obsessing about other people’s issues. But there is...

Are You Loving Yourself Right Now?

Are You Loving Yourself Right Now?

Intimate Question of The Moment: Are you loving yourself right now? Can you feel it? Do you know it? Can you say it? And if not, are you willing to WANT to love yourself?Can you confess this holy want to yourself? Self-love is the key. Self-love is home. Here's to...

Courage

Courage

“Courage” is a poem film, intended to transmit an inclusive perspective on Life, Love, and this precious, fleeting chance to show up generously as ourselves, and give what we were born to give.

Just Life

Just Life


“Do you believe in ‘One True Love’ M
ama?” my daughter Arayla (14.5) asked, just as I was sitting down to join them for dinner. My son Ezra (almost 11) was still lighting the candles.

I pulled my chair in, unfolded my napkin onto my lap and offered my hands out to each of my children, to pause for a moment in giving thanks. After we said thank you, and Ezra asked if someone could please pass the kale salad, Arayla persisted, “So Mom, do you?”

I looked into her eyes to see what kind of answer she was looking for. “Are you asking if I believe there is one person in the world who is our true beloved?” I asked.

She nodded playfully with glistening eyes. She was testing me. I felt into it for a moment, and then answered with certainty: “Yes, yes I do.”

My daughter’s eyes widened with surprise. She gasped, “You do?”

I served myself a heaping plateful of salad as I affirmed: “Yes. I believe YOU are your ‘One True Love’. Life itself, love itself, as me and as you, is our One True Love. And all the different people and creatures we get to love and learn from along the way, even the really challenging ones, are all aspects of our One True Love. I am my One True Love. And you guys are definitely my One True Love, too!”

The kids looked at each other, conspicuously nudged each other under the table, rolled their eyes a little, and chuckled. Ezra commented fondly, “That answer was sooo YOU, Mom.”

I winked at him, “Oh yeah? Consistent and predictable?”

Arayla snorted as she said, “Yep.” She had brought some nori seaweed sheets to the table and began messily making herself a nori wrap with the salad, avocado and rice. For a moment I considered micro-managing her messy creation, and then held my tongue and took a deep breath instead.

The conversation easily shifted into shares from the day.

Arayla had joyous horse tales from her barn to relay; bareback riding and deepening trust.

Ezra shared how his beloved teacher had said to their class, “Now that you’re in fifth grade, you’ll probably notice your bodies are starting to change. And you may even begin to have new feelings towards one another.”

Ezra admitted blushingly, “It was a little cringey.” Then he confessed that privately he had been thinking, “Um… actually? We’ve been having ‘feelings’ for one another since at least third grade. Maybe even Kindergarten?” We all giggled in agreement.

Arayla and I dove into a side conversation about a friend of hers she had run into downtown.

When I brought my attention back to Ezra I noticed he was just sitting there, not touching his food, kind of spacing out. “What are you thinking about, Love?” I asked him.

His eyes came back into focus and he looked at me, quietly. “Not thinking,” he answered casually. “Just feeling.” He picked up his fork and took another bite of food.

Curious, I prodded, “Care to share what you’re feeling?”

Ezra shrugged, and replied, “Just life.”

I asked, “You’re just feeling life? What about life?”

Ezra said, “Just life, Mom. You know—existence? Like—all of it. Like what connects all beings—everything, everywhere? This. Here. Now—  Life. ”

Arayla smiled affectionately at her little brother, and said, “Yeah Mom. He’s just feeling Life.”

Right—  Life. What else is there to feel? Duh.

A few minutes later when I noticed Ezra was struggling to make a nori roll, I offered to help. When I got to the end part, where you have to seal the deal and stick the nori to itself, I must have gotten some inner wires crossed, because absent-mindedly I started licking the edge, just like you would when rolling a joint, or a hand-rolled tobacco…(neither of which I’m in the habit of doing, mind you.)

It wasn’t until I looked up and found Ezra staring at me incredulously, as I licked his nori roll shut, that I suddenly realized I had mixed up different kinds of rolls and correct moments for tongue involvement!

We all laughed really hard, and Ezra feigned disgust as he gingerly took the perfectly licked nori joint from me, saying, “Wow Mom, thanks. This is so special.” 😉

These funny little failures are sometimes the best part of all.

After we had finished eating, I pushed myself up from the table and grabbed some dishes to clear as I went. “Can you guys please clean the kitchen tonight? I’m taking Freya for a walk.” They both said “Ok” and immediately began negotiating who would have which jobs.

I walked out into the newly crisp autumn air, pulled my hood over my head, zipped up my vest, and started up our driveway. I could still faintly hear the kids voices, squabbling about their chores from inside the house. Sounds of my dear life; my little family, my home, my love.

I took long strides up into the dark open evening of our neighborhood. Freya happily sniffed the grasses and bushes, and I urged her along, wishing to move my body.

I noticed our half-moon then, peering out from behind some clouds: solid, clean and clear. And  stars—so endless and exquisitely understated. I imagined all the sweet neighborly trees, kindly nodding their leafy heads towards me in the dark as I passed.

This delicious and seamless co-mingling of life. This sacred substance of air meeting this sacred substance of lungs.  “Just life,” my boy had said.

As I listened to the sound of my boots meeting the street,  I reveled in the contagiousness of truth. How we pass it along, back and forth, like a holy air-borne virus that gathers strength and power in the sharing.

I bowed inwardly then to my One True Love. I blew a passionate kiss from Life to Life.

Then I stopped completely, already home, and let nothing else be needed.