Lately as I’ve inquired bravely into what is in the way of my absolute surrender to Love’s outrageous use of my life, I’ve seen that I’m still afraid.
Like most of us in the spiritual sub-culture, I’ve come to see my fear as a mostly un-useful bi-product of conditioning; one which serves to keep me small, tight and hesitant in self-doubt; mired in past hurt and future projection.
And yet at times our fear appears to be our evolutionary ally, shining the light on precisely what we need to do, simply because we are afraid of it. When our fear is our ally, it actually points us in the direction of deepening fearlessness, inviting us to rise more fully into our dharma, our genius, our love, our capacity for breathtaking generosity.
Afraid of what, you might ask?
Honestly? At some deep, soul-cellular level, I think I’ve actually been afraid of being killed for taking a huge stand for love.
How many times, I wonder, have I been killed, have any of us been killed, for taking a huge stand on behalf of truth and love? Innumerous times indeed.
Call it a Witch wound, or a Christ wound, or a Gandhi, MLK Jr., or Joan of Arc wound. And so many countlessly nameless, forgotten others. Those of us who have stood up and spoken out boldly for love, for holy truth, for justice, for peace, for freedom have proven this to be a risky calling. The imprints on our collective psyche are undeniable and run deep.
And so, whether it shows up in this current day, age and culture as a fear of social-media stoning, or being burned at the stake of massive projection, or shot for standing out in the human crowd, or imprisoned for blowing a whistle, or otherwise crucified simply for being ourselves—fear in this case is clearly my wise and precious ally, pointing me in the direction of deepening liberation.
This kind of fear dares my heart to live courageously and presently, nakedly, honestly and truly. It invites me to take a stand even when it makes me tremble in excruciatingly tender vulnerability to do so.
What do I stand for in this life, and what am I willing to give for this? What am I willing to risk for this?
And what about you, dear Love? What about you?
How many lifetimes have we been brought to this moment, this very threshold, and asked to make a vital choice? How many times even inside this single lifetime have we been brought to the cliff’s edge of our soul’s evolution, and asked to choose between clinging to the safe, outgrown familiar, and leaping boldly into the wild, vast unknown?
What are the costs, of not taking a leap? What do we live with as a result of not listening to what calls us deeper? What do we potentially take to our deathbeds, when we overlook what burns inside us to be chosen, to be said, to be sung, to be shared, to be claimed, to be given?
How poignant indeed that we might withhold ourselves from LIFE, for fear of death, or judgment, or failure, or ruin.
haps it is only when our fear of not living what we were born to live surpasses our other fears, that we then can finally surrender all the way into life.
I’m spreading my wings open wide beside you—One, two, three….are you ready?