Refuge

Nov 3, 2019 | Blog, Featured Read

In these trying times of fires and hurricanes, tornados and earthquakes ravaging all corners of the globe; with political insanity raging and uncertainty looming around every bend; these heartbreaking times that find the whales sick and the bees leaving; that find humans trafficking humans and children shooting other children, I’m praying towards where the deepest refuge can be found.
I’m praying towards how I might BE the refuge.
 
I take refuge in this instant, my friend. This holy only instant of my life, our life, and our world. This sacred moment in which we all exist together, now.
 
I take refuge in this breath; in this moment of our breathing, of our receiving, of our grieving, our praying and our loving.

I take refuge in a Truth that celebrates the oneness of humanity, cures the disease of separation, and resolves all false division.

I take refuge in this LOVE that is large enough to include the ugliest, scariest, most shameful dramas of our world, and the ways these mirror the very wars happening within ourselves.
 
I take refuge in wild Mercy, in Love’s grandest gesture of radical inclusivity.
I take refuge in formless, eternal permanence; this vast, open treasure that doesn’t come and go.
 
I take refuge in my own simple, humble human heart—an innocence that lies deeper than identity and role; a trust in life that doesn’t require our world to be trustworthy; a forgiveness that includes the unforgiveable; a compassion for the wound at the heart of every sin.
 
I take refuge in YOU, in your willingness, in your raw vulnerability, in your brave honesty, and in your breathtaking commitment to love and truth that brought you right here, to this moment of reading these words.
 
I take refuge in the ways you show up, every day, even when it’s really hard, and discover anew how to tend to yourself, how to tend to the embers of your own heart, and then to the people, plants, creatures and sacred assignments of your life.
 
I take refuge in the footsteps of our elders, our great Masters, our wisdom-keepers, way-showers and truth-tellers.
 
I take refuge in the warm, soft hands of my son, and the shimmering eyes of my daughter.
 
I take refuge in that which inspires real kindness amongst strangers, and fresh devotion between longtime friends and lovers. I take refuge in the way these times inspire community, invoke activism and fuel prayer.
 
I take refuge in the wisdom of restraint, and the joy of surrender.
 
I take refuge in this Grace that reveals an astonishing purity of silence, of wellness, of wholeness, that none of this mayhem ever touches.
 
My friend, let’s BE this grace, this wild mercy, this humble human, this courageous heart, this curative kindness, this restful wellness we have yearned for.
 
Let’s not wait another moment to lean in to what’s holding us all.
 
Let’s BE the refuge our whole world can rest in. Shall we?
~*~ Jesua
 
photo by the beloved and exquisitely gifted Lone Mørch.

Facebook Comments

More Blog Posts

Help Me to Stay in the Wonder

Help Me to Stay in the Wonder

My little boy only wants Sanskrit mantras sung to him as he falls asleep. “Please Mama, sing me the Sanskrit ones?” he says, as he scoots back his 7 year old body into my spooning embrace, finding his trustworthy bridge into  dream.

My little budding woman-child wants to talk and talk and talk, […]

Letting Love Have Its Way With Our Deepest Fears

Letting Love Have Its Way With Our Deepest Fears

​A couple of nights ago I woke in the middle of the night from a terrifying dream, with my heart pounding, my mouth still mouthing the emotional words I had been saying in my dream, stress hormones coursing through my body.

In the dream I had just been diagnosed with Cancer, and I was surrounded by doctors as they explained to me where it was in my body, and what they planned to do to try and remove it.

In the dream I felt overcome with dread, panic, confusion and horror. Right […]

The Last Cut-Down Christmas Tree

The Last Cut-Down Christmas Tree

I’ll always remember the day my son Ezra Star renounced our well-loved tradition of cutting down a tree for Christmas time.It was last year, early December, Arayla was 9 at the time, and Ezra was newly 6. We arrived at our favorite, old-fashioned Christmas Tree Farm in Sebastopol, where you can go and wander around peacefully, weaving through all the trees, until you find and choose your perfect, special tree, and then watch them cut it down, carry it off, and wrap it up in rustic twine while you stand to the side, sipping freshly made hot […]

Too Much, Not Enough, & This Love That Bears It All

Too Much, Not Enough, & This Love That Bears It All

’ve been in a very deep inner dialogue with Life recently, soul-searching and heart-stretching, and while it’s difficult and vulnerable to put into words for you all, I’m still compelled to try.

Not long ago I noticed that I was walking around with what felt like a subtle wall in my own heart, like a self-imposed boundary or barricade against Life. I noticed this wall not only appearing in my relationships, but in a deeper and more general way, in my very relationship with Life itself.

An earnest curiosity arose within me as to what this subtle wall, this ever-present barricade was made of. So I carved out a night of prayer for myself, in which I could dive deliberately […]

Gods, Goddesses, & Starbeams of Love

Gods, Goddesses, & Starbeams of Love

Recently Arayla (10.5) and I went through her entire bedroom for the first time in years, clearing out clothes and de-cluttering toys and books that were no longer relevant for her rapidly transforming being. It was quite a task, and took over a week to complete. The final product was a truly different room~ clean, simple, mature, and current.

So it didn’t totally take me by surprise when Ezra (almost 7) announced to me several days ago: “Mom? You know my bedroom? It’s just not really feeling like ME these days.” Respectfully humored, I asked him: “Really? What do you think needs to change so it can feel more like YOU?”

Fully expecting him to come back with some pressing desire for new bedding, or a Star Wars poster, or something pertaining to skateboarding or martial arts, I was completely taken aback when he responded with utter certainty and serious […]

Terrible Beauty

Terrible Beauty

This morning, driving the children to school, the skies were gorgeously astounding to behold. Something about the way the clouds were patterned and scattered in patches; allowing the sun to shine and flow through in distinct rays; the pink and lavender hue… it took my breath away. I gushed to the kids: “Oh my god! Look at this beauty this morning! Look at those amazing pink rays, and how those unusual clouds are letting the light through… wow, it’s just spectacular.”

Ezra (6.5) in the back, looked eagerly out his window, and sighed sweetly “Ahhhhh” in vocal agreement. But Arayla, (10.5) sitting next to me in the front, checked out what I was so delighted by, and then said, soberly: “Unfortunately, […]

Giving Everything To Our Truest Desire

Giving Everything To Our Truest Desire

Recently I’ve been contemplating how and why it is that with all our spiritual maturity, self-awareness and earnest desire for true freedom, we might continue to betray ourselves for love, for money, for pleasure, for security, for image, for sex, for comfort, for success or for power?

Or why it is, if what we truly want is peace, we continue in an infatuation with drama, an attachment to there being something wrong, or a problem to fixate on? Or how it is we somehow remain subconsciously attached to being a victim of our circumstances; thus remaining powerless in our lives?

Is there any way you continually betray yourself?
Can you relate to this? Does it resonate?

And I’ve also […]

When Death Comes In Close

When Death Comes In Close

Death is always with us; an inescapable promise that goes hand-in-hand with life. And yet there are times when the undeniable presence of death comes in closer than usual, making its reality acutely known and felt.
Whether it’s a death from heart-wrenching suicide, or after a long-battled physical illness, or due to a tragic accident, or as a sudden, unexpected surprise—there is nothing like Death Medicine to bring us intimately close to the mysterious, precarious edge of our aliveness.

The Deepest Calling In Relationship

The Deepest Calling In Relationship

elationship, in all its many forms, is sacred, exquisite, essential, mysterious~ and oftentimes messy, troubled, loaded and charged. 

Whether we are married or single, wishing to be free of a partnership that has run its course, or actively calling a partnership in; whether we are delightfully dating, waiting for love, or exhausted by the search; whether we are monogamous or polyamorous, happily or unhappily sexually active, desperately wishing for sex, simply and honestly disinterested in sex, or deliberately celibate; whether our parents are still alive or have passed, […]

Lessons of Tantrums, Wise Sibling Instincts, & the Healing Power of Empathy

Lessons of Tantrums, Wise Sibling Instincts, & the Healing Power of Empathy

My son Ezra Star woke up sweetly today, pouncing on top of me in bed with all his 65 pounds of naked, sun-kissed, 6 year old love, panting loudly with morning breath into my still half-asleep ear: “Good morning my beautiful Mama Mama Mama!!!” I pulled him close, all of his squirmy, golden deliciousness, and inhaled adoringly his warmth and beauty. But within about 5 minutes, suddenly intensely triggered by remembering some of the routine plans in the field, seized by fierce resistance, aversion, and his own fiery temper, the emotional weather of my little love dramatically changed into a full-on, somewhat uncharacteristic, tantrumming storm.

He was inconsolable. I tried everything– all my loving-mama skills and therapeutic conscious communication skills. I tried listening, affirming his feelings and reflecting […]