A dear Sister asked me recently where I currently, personally stand as a single woman in my forties on the topic of welcoming relational union into my life. I thought it could be fun and useful to share my thoughts here.
I absolutely love conscious partnership and lovership as an exquisitely provocative container for evolution, companionship and devotion. In many ways I was designed for it, and I blossom when my feminine nature can truly relax and unfurl in Love’s holy dance of giving and receiving.
I adore the presence of the sacred masculine in my life, knowing from experience the incomparable ways this can bless, affirm and enhance my life, health and heart. YES.
AND the older and more self-loving I’ve become, the more discerning I’ve had to become in terms of who I allow into the deepest crevices of my heart, my psyche, my body, my home, my life and my children’s lives.
Intimacy is not casual for me, because I’m fully embodied and I love wholeheartedly, and because I live a life that requires my instrument to stay tuned.
When our lives are given in service, especially, and our personal calling is intertwined with our own clarity, we must be particularly discerning about who we bring close in to the hearth of our lives—who we lie down beside at night, with whom we share our breath and saliva and sex, intermingling our spirits, to whom we devote our presence, care and attention, and from whom we receive daily mirroring.
We learn from experience the consequences of self-betrayal and poor energetic hygiene; the hazards of not listening to our intuition.
The stakes are raised, and the costs are high.
Thank goodness with maturity comes holy discernment, and a treasuring of health, sanity, peace and coherence above the familiarity of comfort, juicy attraction, and caretaking.
We learn to honor the unapologetic clarity of our Fu*k NO right alongside our passionately true Fu*k YES.
Beyond any fantasy of a partner’s potential, beyond the seductive blind spots of romantic projection, we are soberly grounded in what’s presently real, in what is actually SO rather than what we wish would be, or might be someday, and we take careful note of what patterns blatantly repeat themselves.
We come to fiercely respect and protect the wisdom of our bodies and the sanctity of our lives.
In all this, the archetype of the queen poised on her inner throne has been a useful one for me to find solid home within. Taking my seat in the sovereign majesty of my own heart and soul.
I’m grateful to find myself in a time where I am neither “defensively sovereign”, as I like to call it sometimes, 😉 nor caught in habituated longing for relationship.
Ahhhh, what a relief to be free of that dichotomy.
I am grateful to find myself innocently open, not jaded nor cynically caught in a story of past disappointments, yet grounded and sober when it comes to the possibility of welcoming relational union once again in to my life. Only if it were to be profoundly true, and then I would absolutely say yes please and thank you!
I am open and I am whole. I cherish and respect my precious, fleeting life.
I love this aging, sexy, sober, devotional woman of love and truth I am.
Some things really do get easier, simpler, and clearer with time and with age!
And I would never dream of trading this middle-aged wisdom for the tight, firm and perky version of my youth. Not even for a moment.
Righteous self-love is truly worth aging for!