Taking Our True Seat

Mar 6, 2020 | Blog

 For a long time I’ve held the phrase “Taking our True Seat” as a celebration of realized sovereignty and inherent inner majesty; a joyous self-claiming.

To sit firmly, kindly and elegantly within oneself, allowing all subtle striving and habitual movement outwards to settle within; to love oneself completely, is to recognize where true, lasting home and fulfillment is to be found.

It’s a fierce choice, this inner marriage. A poignant choice of radical self-embrace. In my experience it’s also an incomparably fruitful and spiritually rewarding choice. And yet it does not come without a price.

In my experience, this marriage to Truth requires immense relational sobriety, and a death of relational projection.

It requires us to love stillness more than we love drama. It asks us to love burning more than we love spinning. It asks us to prioritize presence over fantasy.

It asks us to surrender our perfectionism for authenticity, and to truly lay down our delusion of control.

When our marriage to Truth and Love itself can be honored above and beyond all else—all phenomena, all form, all contracts, all roles, all circumstances, all relationships, all appearances—then we know we can truly trust ourselves, and from this deep, essential self-trust, we can offer ourselves generously to life.

I used to feel that this marriage to Truth was an inherently lonely choice, on a human level. I actually carried that stance and belief as if it were a well-honed wisdom, which I would freely offer up to people when asked. With a sober shrug, I’d announce, “True awakening is a lonely path.”

But what I’ve been leaning into more than ever lately, are the undeniable ways in which my “sovereign seat”, this true seat in myself,  is actually elbow-to-elbow right beside yours!

I used to be somewhat identified with being alone—a  rare individual, a single mother, a solopreneur. I held myself apart somehow, in protection and defense of my spiritual marriage to Truth.

Honestly, I think it’s been a vulnerable stretch for me—part of my personal, human growing edge—to really surrender to the grand scheme of collaboration; to surrender to the sticky, tricky task of actually relying upon one another; to open wider to the power of having one another’s backs; to give in to the actual, literal truth of no separation in Oneself.

Now that I’m slowly leaning in more, I feel increasing relief. I was never meant to hold this on my own. In fact, we were never meant to hold anything at all.

This that we love, this that we’re joined by, is holding us, with infinite Mastery and Grace.

We are in this together. We are side by side in this bumpy boat of incarnation and awakening and service. We are side by side in our messy humbling, and in our shining clarity. We are side by side in our human vulnerability and in our essential invulnerability. We are side by side in Truth and as Love.

And what a relief to find ourselves in a time where there is no pedestal to fall from, not even within ourselves. There is certainly no pedestal to put anyone else on top of. We are all low down, here on the ground of our sacred, fleeting aliveness. Our humility is our dignity. Our connection is our refuge.

Home is simply being ourselves, moment by moment; mustering up the courage and patience to show up and to tell the truth and to love ourselves exactly as we are.

Welcome home! I love you. I’m so grateful to take my true seat, and to meet you here as you take yours, elbow to elbow, heart to heart, in this blessed bumpy boat.  xo

 

Exceptional art by Tessa Mythos.

Facebook Comments

More Blog Posts

Dream Prayer: Loving The Thief

Heading into prayer space this weekend. So deeply grateful to have the chance to gather with kindreds around the flame and sit with what is churning in our hearts, and in the great heart of our world in these tender, troubling times.I had a potent dream a couple of nights ago that I am still working with deeply. The dream was about my car (a common symbol for me) getting stolen by an irreverent, narcissistic, nonchalant and arrogant drug-lord thief! I tried everything to get the thief to give m […]

Birthing A Star

This morning as I lay in my bed in the dark, gently transitioning into the new day, I saw the light pouring out through the crack of Ezra’s bedroom door, which shares a wall with my own bedroom.

I stretched my ears to listen to the most marvelous sound~ a sound that is deeply familiar to me by now~ of him […]

My Grandmother, The Queen

My beloved Grandmother, my mother’s mother, Dorothy Dannenbaum Rudolph, fondly known by us all as “Dede,” passed on from this world late last night at the seasoned age of 94.

She died in the comfort of her own home, in her own bed, with her two loving daughters by her side. She had been […]

“Come In”

Tonight I go to tuck Ezra (7.5) into bed, and there’s a little handwritten note taped to his door that says: “Come in.”
I walk into his room and find him already in his bed, lying there quietly in the dark, waiting for me.
He asks, somberly: “Did you see the note?”
I say: “Yes, I did!”
He says, still serious in tone: “So that’s why you came in?”
I chuckle a little and say: “Yes, that’s why I came in.”
He asks: “Did you see the *first* note I put on my door?”
I say: “No I didn’t. What did it say?”
He responds: “It said: ‘Do not come in.’”
I say with surprise: […]

Mother

For Mother’s Day today I wrote to my mother:

“My dear, beautiful, amazing Mom!!

Happy Mother’s day!! I love you so much. What a lucky life I live with you as my mother!! 

If you knew all the moments my heart beats with sheer gratitude for who you are, and how you show up in this world, and in my life specifically, along with the […]

Retrograde Mama Morning

This morning was one of those mornings where it was quite clear that all the retrograde planets were colliding and exploding in my very home! Ezra’s alarm didn’t go off at 6 am as he was expecting it to, disrupting his cherished self-made morning rhythm of showering and playing early, before Arayla and I rise, so he can claim his 7-year-old space and his center.

And so I woke […]

The Thankless Job~ & How It Invites Us To BE The Thanks

I remember one time, when my kids were much smaller, maybe 5 and 2 years old, we had just gotten over a horrendous family stomach flu. You know the kind~ where just like dominos, everyone goes down? One by one, everyone is violently, grossly sick, all over the house. And then, after scrubbing the bathrooms and doing 15 loads of laundry and taking care of everyone for days, finally the Mom gets it too?

I distinctly remember speaking to my dear mother at the time over […]

​Sandcastle Lessons for Tenacity, Generosity and Surrender!

Enjoying a glorious beach day yesterday in Point Reyes with the children and our beautiful puppy, I had the luxury of just sitting there, quietly, soaking in the abundance of beauty~ while witnessing them all playing in the sand together, my gorgeous beach-loving little ones.

Towards the end of our time I noticed the kids were intently focused on building a sandcastle together, but […]

A Birthing Day

Last night I curled up with my beloved girl at bedtime, on her 11th birthday eve, stroking her long, auburn hair, massaging her sweet golden shoulders. I snuggled in to tell her, lingeringly, in annual ritual fashion, the glorious and epic story of her body’s birth...

Unconditional

Several weeks ago, one night at bedtime, my son Ezra (7) got overly exhausted and intensely triggered, and in his fury he yelled at me, viciously: “You aren’t even my MOM!!” And then, fuming, spitting, he said: “You are such a fucking!!”

I felt astonishingly calm in the face of his foul-mouthed rage. In fact, I found myself […]