Vigilance & Mercy~ Preview!

Jan 4, 2020 | Blog

Dear Loves,

Whew, my friends…these times! Oh my.

How are they for you? I notice for myself and so many others, including most of my closest kindreds, these times are really working us over.

Perhaps in extremely potent times of immense evolutionary transition, it’s the most sensitive souls amongst us, the star-keepers and medicine-bringers and truth-tellers, who feel it in the deepest ways.⚡️🔥⚡️

We can feel the challenge of rapid evolution inside our very cells, aching in our hearts, calling our minds into increasing alignment and clarity.

We can feel the requirement of ever-deepening vigilance, immense self-compassion and surrender.

We are ever-humbled by our shortcomings, and yet called to keep showing up, ever-more-truly, as love and truth in this world.

How is it possible to be vigilant to the deepest truth when all our issues are up?

How do we atone with the most grueling parts of our humanness —when anxiety, rage, exhaustion or loneliness push us beyond our capacity?

How is life fiercely reflecting to us that it’s really time now to evolve our tendencies of reactivity, or avoidance, or laziness, or drama, or self-loathing… and how is it ALL simply a call for deeper MERCY?

These are the questions alive at the heart of my personal inquiry, and also the questions at the heart of the online course I am preparing to launch very soon, entitled “Vigilance and Mercy” which I’m excited to share with you more about in the coming weeks!

In the simplest terms, VIGILANCE is the means by which we get to LIVE what we’ve realized.

Vigilance is how we take what we realized in the heart of that spiritual intensive, or medicine journey, or vipassana retreat, or moment of lucid clarity at the top of the mountain, and APPLY it in the everyday moments of our messy human lives.

The moments when the children are driving us crazy, or when our survival-fears arise, or toxic resentment is brewing, or anxiety comes knocking in the middle of the night, or the grief builds like a tsunami in our chest.

For me, vigilance is at the heart of my ultimate sanity, joy and usefulness. 🌟🕊🌟

And I haven’t come by it naturally.

I had to be taught, intimately guided and mentored for many years by my beloved teacher Gangaji, in order to become a solid steward of this medicine.

Without vigilance, all of my breathtakingly profound awakenings would just be lovely experiences of the past.

Vigilance is how I make all the gifts I’ve been given meaningful in THIS moment.

And MERCY? Mercy is what we all need more of, especially in our patterns of being hard on ourselves.

Mercy is love, for that which feels unworthy of love.

Mercy is the kindness and compassion we can muster up for that which feels most stuck and lost and afraid within us.

Mercy is the most generous response we can discover in the face of our inevitable failure to be vigilant!

It is the living meeting place of these two treasures—vigilance and mercy, that I am most inspired at this time to invite myself and all of us to deepen in.

To this end, I’ll be expounding on this topic in the coming days and weeks, always with a prayer that what I share lands as relevant medicine for YOU.

Please comment below or message me if you’d like to be amongst the first to know more…

All my love to you, in this very moment, wherever you are! 💞
From my heart to yours, ~*~ Jesua

Facebook Comments

More Blog Posts

Dream Prayer: Loving The Thief

Heading into prayer space this weekend. So deeply grateful to have the chance to gather with kindreds around the flame and sit with what is churning in our hearts, and in the great heart of our world in these tender, troubling times.I had a potent dream a couple of nights ago that I am still working with deeply. The dream was about my car (a common symbol for me) getting stolen by an irreverent, narcissistic, nonchalant and arrogant drug-lord thief! I tried everything to get the thief to give m […]

Birthing A Star

This morning as I lay in my bed in the dark, gently transitioning into the new day, I saw the light pouring out through the crack of Ezra’s bedroom door, which shares a wall with my own bedroom.

I stretched my ears to listen to the most marvelous sound~ a sound that is deeply familiar to me by now~ of him […]

My Grandmother, The Queen

My beloved Grandmother, my mother’s mother, Dorothy Dannenbaum Rudolph, fondly known by us all as “Dede,” passed on from this world late last night at the seasoned age of 94.

She died in the comfort of her own home, in her own bed, with her two loving daughters by her side. She had been […]

“Come In”

Tonight I go to tuck Ezra (7.5) into bed, and there’s a little handwritten note taped to his door that says: “Come in.”
I walk into his room and find him already in his bed, lying there quietly in the dark, waiting for me.
He asks, somberly: “Did you see the note?”
I say: “Yes, I did!”
He says, still serious in tone: “So that’s why you came in?”
I chuckle a little and say: “Yes, that’s why I came in.”
He asks: “Did you see the *first* note I put on my door?”
I say: “No I didn’t. What did it say?”
He responds: “It said: ‘Do not come in.’”
I say with surprise: […]

Mother

For Mother’s Day today I wrote to my mother:

“My dear, beautiful, amazing Mom!!

Happy Mother’s day!! I love you so much. What a lucky life I live with you as my mother!! 

If you knew all the moments my heart beats with sheer gratitude for who you are, and how you show up in this world, and in my life specifically, along with the […]

Retrograde Mama Morning

This morning was one of those mornings where it was quite clear that all the retrograde planets were colliding and exploding in my very home! Ezra’s alarm didn’t go off at 6 am as he was expecting it to, disrupting his cherished self-made morning rhythm of showering and playing early, before Arayla and I rise, so he can claim his 7-year-old space and his center.

And so I woke […]

The Thankless Job~ & How It Invites Us To BE The Thanks

I remember one time, when my kids were much smaller, maybe 5 and 2 years old, we had just gotten over a horrendous family stomach flu. You know the kind~ where just like dominos, everyone goes down? One by one, everyone is violently, grossly sick, all over the house. And then, after scrubbing the bathrooms and doing 15 loads of laundry and taking care of everyone for days, finally the Mom gets it too?

I distinctly remember speaking to my dear mother at the time over […]

​Sandcastle Lessons for Tenacity, Generosity and Surrender!

Enjoying a glorious beach day yesterday in Point Reyes with the children and our beautiful puppy, I had the luxury of just sitting there, quietly, soaking in the abundance of beauty~ while witnessing them all playing in the sand together, my gorgeous beach-loving little ones.

Towards the end of our time I noticed the kids were intently focused on building a sandcastle together, but […]

A Birthing Day

Last night I curled up with my beloved girl at bedtime, on her 11th birthday eve, stroking her long, auburn hair, massaging her sweet golden shoulders. I snuggled in to tell her, lingeringly, in annual ritual fashion, the glorious and epic story of her body’s birth...

Unconditional

Several weeks ago, one night at bedtime, my son Ezra (7) got overly exhausted and intensely triggered, and in his fury he yelled at me, viciously: “You aren’t even my MOM!!” And then, fuming, spitting, he said: “You are such a fucking!!”

I felt astonishingly calm in the face of his foul-mouthed rage. In fact, I found myself […]